new year, who dis?

I’m a sucker for fresh starts: a new chapter, a blank slate, and especially a New Year. Don’t ask me why, but something about it makes me want to sing “Unwritten” by Natasha Beddingfield and shoot some fireworks until the cows come home. Actually, I’m terrified of fireworks so I don’t know why I said that. But a fresh start? I’m all about it.

I always have. I made my first New Years resolution when I was, like, seven. And I’ve been making (and failing) them ever since. You know the girl who goes to the gym in January and then vanishes in mid-air come February 1? I am that girl. Or the person who talks a big talk about intermittent fasting, dropping soda, and doing Keto? Also, me. Which is crazy because I don’t even know what Keto is.

I say all of this to let you know that, I, despite my efforts, am no goal-setting, inspirational boss lady who can convince you to eat clean and do Crossfit. It’d be a miracle if I could convince myself to do that. So while I can’t offer you health tips and tricks for the New Year or inspire you to run a marathon, I can be honest and authentic about areas in my life that need improving and expose myself on the internet to hopefully encourage you. Yay blogging!

Here are the things I’m not bringing with me in 2019:

1. Negative self-talk: Perhaps first on the list because it’s just that important. I’m not proud of it, but I’m the queen of this bad habit. While I tend to disguise it as just self-deprecating humor, it’s 2019 and I’m leaving it behind in the New Year. If I spoke to others the way I spoke to myself, I would be the world’s most hated woman and if I wouldn’t say it to my best friend, I shouldn’t say it to myself. So see ya never statements like, “Wow your face is REALLY broken out today!” And HELLO, “You’re no Kate Upton, but you look gooooood today!” It’ll be a work in progress.
2. Passivity: Yeah, I’m talking to YOU, McKenna. You’ve become entirely too comfortable with putting things off. “I’ll do it tomorrow” is a mantra you’ve lived by for far too long. Delaying dreams, avoiding responsibility, and waiting until “tomorrow” to take care of things that should have been handled, like, yesterday. Procrastination and passivity have gotten you to this point, but let’s be real, barely. It’s time to start taking action, facing things head on and showing your passive tendencies who’s boss. Me. The boss is me. Just to clear up any confusion.
3. Dwelling in disappointment: Ouch. This one hurts to let go. Why? Because I tend to find comfort in dwelling in disappointment. It feels good to hang on to a little bitterness when I’ve been wronged. It feels right to sit in a puddle of self-pity when something disappointing happens. We spend so much time playing the world’s smallest violin for ourselves that we miss out on the joys of that day. I don’t want to be a person that sulks. I want to be a person that seeks joy, even in the midst of disappointment.
4. Falling victim to the comparison trap: If I could underline this one and circle it three times, I would. Imagine I did that, for visual effect. In 2019, I don’t want to be a comparer. I don’t want to measure the success of my life with the successes of others. Sure, Karen is engaged, Maren’s popping out a baby, and Sharon just got a promotion, but my life is completely on track. I’m not “behind” or “losing” because I’m in a different season than them. I don’t want to fall victim to the comparison trap because I want to be genuinely happy for my friends who are in those different seasons. No, not pretending to be happy but secretly wishing it was me in their shoes, but truly rejoicing with them and cheering them on like an overzealous soccer mom.
5. Avoiding rest: If you know me, you’re probably confused by this one because from the outside, I have no trouble resting. I sleep in until 10:30 every time I get the chance and I take power naps like it’s my day job. But what you might not know about me is that I can’t stand downtime. Christmas Break actually freaks me out because there’s so much free time that I don’t know what to do with myself. If my day isn’t filled with activity, I get thrown off. I’ll fill my time with meaningless distractions in order to keep from being idle. It’s the same way in my spiritual life. But the Lord is teaching me that rest doesn’t mean laziness, unproductivity, or weakness. Rather, it’s a state of mind that chooses to meditate on the promises of God. And THAT is something I’ll be bringing with me in 2019.

If you haven’t set aside some time to reflect on the past year, you’ve got approximately three days left in the year to do so. Find out which habits in your life need to be left behind and give them one big ole “TTFN!” You are the only person responsible for you, so if you want to see a change in your life, start changing! Alexa, play "Man in the Mirror."

​Happy New Year, hunnies! Let's kick 2019 in the face.